Patty (woodycakes) wrote,
Patty
woodycakes

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No Kids For Me

It's official. I don't want any kids. Yeah, at one point in my life, I might have been delusional enough to want to bring another human individual into this world, but that dream is gone.

After living with five other siblings who all go through shit, I don't think I want to relive it. I won't even go into exact detail of how horrible things can turn out from the pregnancy, to the actual giving birth (the horror!), to the raising and feeding and nurturing and making sure they grow up well to the worrying and worrying and worrying, because tonight's example is going to haunt me forever.

When you have a child, you're going to have to send them to school, because that apparently, will help them in the future. But the road going there is just too stressful! First off, my supposed future kid will go through so much stress. With me as the mother, the kid will feel pressured to excel and that might lead the kid to a self-destruction and self-hate. Would I really want to be responsible for that?

Other than that, are there actually any good schools left? None! All of them have their silly quirks that I wouldn't want to abide by. Paola today came home and said she needed to find two measly Science exercises. Everyone looked for it everywhere. I even asked my mom in Singapore (that cost me 30 bucks baby!) and she doesn't know either. That was when I knew we were hopeless. My mom always knows where things are. No matter where she is, she knows.

My sister, filled up with frustration and fear, starts crying. I have to admit, that I wanted to strangle her at this point. Crying won't help anything at all. But the sad part is, why is she so afraid? What kind of a school would instill such fear in a student? Or have we (over-eager older siblings) influenced her with our examples of neurotic, grade-fearing, teacher-pleasing antics? I refuse to let anyone go through this! This is just shit!

My tita even came over all the way from Project 6 -- though it may sound near, she actually came -- because only she could calm Paola down. The phantom papers haven't been found and my little sister is finally asleep. This is what trying to be on top of things has done to her. She's forced to become a very very scared little girl. Oh, and she's only nine.

When I was nine, I wasn't even studying. I was in grade three and wasn't listening in class. Or maybe I was. but I don't remember being that miserable. I was happy. I'd hate to see her when she gets to grade four or worse, high school. Somebody save my sister from school!
Tags: kids, more family, parents, siblings
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