Well, this month was a surprise.
Both good and bad and everything in between but over-all, we're creeping towards the end of quarter 3 and before you know it, it's Christmas (when I say Christmas, I refer to the extended Filipino Christmas season that starts September 1, "ber months").
If you asked me at the beginning of the month whether I would predict how August would end, I wouldn't say this way but I suppose things happen for a reason. I'm trying to now take a meh attitude to things. I think I clearly care too much and think too much and just invest too much.
I know they say you only have to get things right once, and clearly, I haven't gotten it right just yet. I'm both jaded and hopeful and still confused as to how I want to move forward. So instead, goodbye, August. Hello, September.
It goes without saying but dating is still weird. Technically, this round wasn't quite something since things were pretty clear upfront but it also wasn't nothing. And I'm getting better with a 3 month lifespan now (upping my game from 1 week to 1 month to a quarter of a year -- not that duration ever matters?).
Needless to say, I think I've improved in some ways. I'm a tad emotionally healthier now than last year but also still needs room for improvement. How so? I should know what I want and admit it to myself. For the first time, I listened to my heart over my head. It wasn't the best of endings but the "journey" was pretty good when it was good.
At 30, I was hoping and praying that I would get to try it finally. The elusive relationship that I've thought of and wondered about and heard in copious detail from friends and movies and songs. They say almost doesn't count but hey, another kind of sort of almost is sort of something right?
And in all this incoherent rambling, I will look back on this with fondness. The first two tries somehow ended less than desirably and though this ending was of course not what I wanted, I'm glad I made the call because almost in a way, doesn't quite count.
Because of the trip, I spent 10 days away from Singapore and because of work, I'm gone most weekends to Yangon, Myanmar. And so the photos this month are scarce. Still, it was lovely to be welcomed home with flowers (thanks to my lovely sister, Pamy) and strange but interesting to have beers at the airport with our new COO -- something I didn't think I would ever get to survive. It was also pretty cool to have brunch with Becky and new gal, Lizzy who was sweet to brunch with us!
Pamy and I attended an outdoor cinema thing -- it was my first time and we clearly were not prepared but it was fun and I took a day off to do some personal errands and run around town feeling sick but glad to be out. I also visited Kiara and Rashi and it's so nice to see her growing up adorably.
Tasha, my first ever boss and Pamy's friend was in town for the Foo Fighters concert so it was cool to hang out for breakfast. Then have a second breakfast with Ami, who is so fun to see even if no longer in Jakarta. But really, a lot of the month was traveling back and forth from Yangon and sitting in cars with rainy weather.
Loving: Scandinavia. That trip somehow feels so far away now but looking back on photos of the lovely vistas and my lovely lovely nephew Stellan who I will FOREVER rave about, makes me smile. The trip has tinges of sadness when I look back on it but over-all, it was awesome and my savings are not happy but I'm very glad.
Reading: After so much drama, my Jane Austen Tarot cards & book! finally arrived!!! It's so interesting to see all the cards and their meanings and now I kind of want to re-read the Austen novels just so I'm refreshed on the stories again. I haven't progressed on much reading though so that has to change soon.
Watching: I've always been a fan but haven't really gotten around to really following him but Stephen Colbert's monologues have been a wonderful addition to my diet of Last Week Tonight with John Oliver. With siblings in the USA, I somehow feel far more scared about things than I used to be. And these two shows make me laugh but terrified at the same time.
Listening to: The ENTIRE POINT of this post was so that I could pimp my brother, Pietro's AMAZING MUSIC. I don't say this as a sister but as a fan!!! He shared his first EP with us back in April and I was remiss in SHARING IT WITH EVERYONE but I am rectifying this situation now because he shared another 4 songs with us (technically in September but WHO CARES) and they are BRILLIANT. I know. Stage Sister. But he did it all. Write, compose, record, play the damn instruments. EVERYTHING.
I can't pick favourites but I'm obviously digging It Might Not Be Love from the second EP, Songs For Someone Some Time Ago (though this entire EP IS THE BRILLEST THING EVER) and Indecision from the first EP, People Always Leave But They Can Always Come Back BUT ONLY IF YOU HAD ME AT GUNPOINT because I can't choose. I can't can't choose.
And it doesn't help that I'm feeling all the feels right now because he wrote this when he was pretty broken hearted and HOW AMAZING IS IT THAT HE TURNED HIS FEELS INTO BRILLIANT MUSIC THAT I CAN NOW GET EMO TO. What have I done with my feels?!? Therapy? Cool. But MUSIC. MAKING MUSIC THAT OTHER PEOPLE CAN GET ALL CATHARTIC TO is AMAZE.
I wish I had talent like this but because I don't, instead I am going to share it with you all. Have a listen, tell me what you think (good or bad but hopefully good!) so I can tell my brother because holy shit I've never been so proud. I mean I have, I'm like the ultimate stage sister but COME ON. HOW PERFECT.
Working on: And because I want to be productive (not music-wise, clearly) with these feelings, I've jumped right back into Knitting projects again! I literally have thread for the next four projects because why not. The current one is a throw for my brother's couch (I did thread-related projects for my siblings in reverse order of birth so my younger siblings have scarves -- they have a reason -- it could get cold in the US, maybe not in California but who cares) and this was how it looked a couple weeks back and so it's grown since then. Up next would be my last sibling, Pamy's shawl then it's on to friends who are all lined up. So if you want something let me know. You may get it in 2018 but you will!
Anticipating: I don't want to jinx it but it looks like somehow, I will be rooted again in Singapore. Fingers crossed it all works out but I'm hoping and praying. To be fair to this traveling, it's tiring as fuck but it's a great distraction and has definitely helped me these past few weeks. It'll be weird reporting to an office in the city I technically live in again but I'm definitely going to enjoy it more in the long run. Here's hoping!
It still shocks me how long I've been on LJ (2004 feels very very very very far away at this point) and also how much can happen between entries (I literally looked back on the previous currently and oh the optimism!). But I digress, catch me up on what I've missed?