😤 working

Listens: Carly Rae Jepsen - Cut to the Feeling | Powered by Last.fm

Currently: July 2017 (with a tl;dr warning**)

I recently received feedback that for a newbie, my LJ felt all over the place and I admit that's true. Over the years, I've definitely lost focus and drive and just zest in general for this space. And yet, here we are.

I also realise that I never actually introduced myself to my new friends from the wonderful penderies' friending meme so let me say a quick hello and welcome to all the lovely folks who are still somehow, hanging around our favourite gin joint. It's been a while since I've done an intro post and I realise that even my profile page only gets updated every so many years (with my age -- I'm 30) so here goes.

My name is Patty which is short for Patricia (and like three more other names) and I've been on LJ since 2004 (and I had to look that up!) and the LJ has evolved over the years. I would fangirl WAY MORE intensely in the first years and update everyday and comment obsessively and then there were the mechanical days when I felt compelled to just come up with something and now after 13 years on here (HOLY SHIT THAT'S A TEENAGER!), I've somehow come a happy-ish medium. 

You'll read mostly about things I'm reading, watching, listening to (this exact entry and the ones like it) -- even if I do none of those activities AS MUCH as I used to; and lots of not so relevant (to most people) photos about my day (12 of 12) or month (still this post). And not so randomly, I'll go on a scheduled YouTube spiral (because that's how I roll). 

But mostly, it's a bunch of nonsense. I've considered quitting the LJ many times before (with everybody gone and all) but NOT EVERYONE IS GONE. And we're still here and the compulsive side of me is telling me to just keep on keeping on so I might as well try not to half-ass this too much (but I can't commit to a full-ass so I might as well quarter-ass this thing). I'll try. 

Ok, enough of that. I have not written this many words in a long time. I'm feeling a bit hypocritical doling out advise when I myself don't follow it. If you have questions, you can ask me anything, in the same way that I still have not changed my LJ's title which I now see kind of reflects my lack of focus -- Say Anything...* And in John Oliver's immortal words, "and now, this." 

it's all fun and games until someone drinks her medicines without eating first

And now this (top to bottom, left to right) — 1. the prison-themed 10K with Pamy; 2. One-Direction-powered lunch and more with Macy; 3. finally dinner with kumareng Chrissy; 4. Sunday in the CBD (not Jakarta!) with Ami; 5. Wall climbing intro with the siblings; 6. much-awaited margarita-filled catch-up with Risa; 7.  dinner, drinks and then DARTS?! with Adoni, Becky and Kaulin (not pictured); 8. swankiest birthday brunch ever for Emmy and Colin; 9. always calming and clarifying tarot reading with Madam Chinggay

I made a concerted effort to be social in July. Like extremely social with my rabid booking friends in advanced (any time I'm in town) and it felt contrived and exagerrated at first penning in appointments in my calendar 2 weeks in advanced but with all the flying, it's impossible to do anything spontaneously. Also, it keeps me accountable to actually get off my ass and see my friends. 

And though it can be tiring, looking back on all the lovely photos from July, I'm glad I did. I keep complaining (to myself) that I miss having friends like I did in Manila, but looking back (even if five out of the 9 photos feature people FROM Manila), I have to say 2.5 years in Singapore has been pretty kind to me socially. I just like to complain.

Loving: reconnecting with my tarot journey. It's been a while since I pulled out the deck, not quite gathering dust but definitely ignored for a long time -- but sometimes, the mood strikes or a question needs clarifying and augmenting my praying with some tangible (this sounds so un-holy) sometimes gives faux-clarity.

I'm not great at it and I'm still learning but listening to friends like Chinggay and hearing about AMAZING DECKS like this super hard to find Jane Austen Tarot Deck (I cannot wait till you arrive) bring out both the obsessive fangirl in me and the wanting to learn something again. 

Reading: I'm reading four books concurrently now. WHAT. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT, Patty? you only ever read one book and force yourself to finish it before moving on. Well, one book is sort of depressing ish and I'm trying to see if I read faster with the variety so let's test this out. 

Chemistry by Weike Wang because every list is telling me to read it and so far, it's not disappointed. I'm wondering where they're going to take it. Then there's Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience and Finding Joy by Sheryl Sandberg which was written after her husband died so that makes me sad but the topic is quite uplifting. Her books are always so fact driven but always interesting. 

And because I rely on list recommendations, this book, You Don't Look Your Age: And Other Fairy Tales by Sheila Nevins sounded intriguing and though I'm far from the target age demographic of this book, it's best to be prepared, I guess. And I'll admit, Real Love: The Art of Mindful Connection by Sharon Salzberg hooked me from the title, it turned out to not be the book I thought it was but still a good hook. See you in 2018 when I finally finish these books.

Watching: I finally started The Handmaid's Tale even if I didn't get around to starting the book (BLASPHEMY, WHY, WHO ARE YOU) because I had to try it out and boy, is it sad and depressing. It's beautiful and so hauntingly close to present life events that you realise we are literally a hop, skip and a jump away from this which makes it the most terrifying horror this 2017. 

This means, I need to alternate my viewing with some Friends from College which somehow is entertaining and funny  but also stressful in the storylines because you know shit is going to hit the fan. Finally, as mentioned in the last entry, I'm still obsessed over Victoria and am eagerly waiting for season 2. Costume dramas, you never let me down.

Listening To: I try (and fail) to keep up with music and my monthly playlists on Spotify are always updated after the month is actually done after the fact. So if Last.fm charts were to be trusted, it would be Selena Gomez's Bad Liar and the AMAZING HAIM cover (which then led me to another CRAZY AWESOME HAIM cover of Shania Twain's That Don't Impress Me Much. Do you see how easy it is to spiral?!?

There's also a resurgence of Carly Rae Jepsen's Cut to the Feeling because FEELS.. But also, Spotify has helped me discover LANY's new single, Super Far (nothing beats ILYSB, but this is close) and because we all need some fun, Charli XCX's Boys (complete with subverting stereotypes music video and yes, you're welcome). The real question though is: WHEN ARE YOU RELEASING AN ALBUM TAYLOR. I HAVE A TRIP COMING UP (see below) AND NEED YOUR SONGS.

Working On: Tennis! I realize I'm way more active than my Manila self or any self I've ever been -- with training for the half-marathon in December (I'm STILL far far off to being ready), to weekly-ish yoga (it's basically stretching), to trying out wall-climbing (it's not bad except I'm pretty terrified of heights so not sure how this is going to work), the rare bike ride (I should really just get a bike) and now getting proper tennis lessons (again! because high school didn't count cause I was clearly in it for the cute coach). WHO IS THIS PERSON. Thank you, Singapore for enabling me to be active #activeSG

Anticipating: Scandinavia. In the most unprepared trip of my life ever -- with unprepared being defined as: I have not created a calendar of daily outfits nor do I have a hour-by-hour itinerary after having read the ENTIRE guide book cover-to-cover -- I am looking forward to semi-winging it on this trip to (deep breath) Amsterdam, Stockholm, Bergen and Copenhagen in a record 10 days. 

Why would one do this to themselves? Because I have no time (why must leaves and work get in the way) and money (why am I not an heiress?) to do any longer and because visiting my lovely cousin, Nikki who's given birth to the cutest baby ever, Stellan (I'm not biased) deserves a long-haul flight. And because I trust BuzzFeed (you're welcome, again). 

*not-so fun fact: back in the day (and now still, it's cool to love 80s movies and thus the reference to the movie of the same name even if I wasn't actually that enamoured by the film. There I said it.

**I will never sustain this many words again - 1500 plus!!! This was a one-off miracle. Thanks for making it to the end. If you skimmed and reached here. It's ok. tl;dr after all.


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