Patty (woodycakes) wrote,

Pardon My French

So I've been on my Tinder fast this Lent (extended from January just because) and as it winds down, I'm not sure how I feel about installing it again. Not because I was plenty occupied by work and 'me'-time and girl-bonding (Risa is in town and Sayaka's LDR is keeping her free) but because I'm not sure how I want to go about it again.

During the Tinder dry spell, it wasn't like I wasn't interacting with the opposite sex. And though clearly, I'm horrible at it (or it just isn't happening how I envision it to), this article on NYMag is a nice little piece that had me thinking a lot of things.

I didn't realise what a 'large' French contingent there is in France until I encountered the 'Four Frenchmen of the Apocalypse'. Don't worry, this isn't a sad ending, it's just a funny coincidence that in quarter 1 of 2016, I encountered 4 French(ish) guys -- none of whom I would have met had I stayed in my nice little comfortable situation in Manila but also didn't exactly turn out into anything.

First, there was the remnants of Tinder, French guy number 1 who I never actually met. We'd talk and argue and banter on What's app and pretend we'd meet up but we never did. When I'd be slightly tipsy, I would message this person to pick a fight out of nothing and though it was fun, it was nothing but messaging and aimless messaging at that. And though that can be fun, it's also pretty pointless. I'm no longer in high school -- where texting was a thing.

Second, there was newly translated French guy who just moved from Malaysia and possibly the 'most successful' (or not) French guy who I actually went out with three times before he flaked and fizzled out. I'm glad nothing truly happened other than dinners and lots of talking and still the texting. I was taken aback by how quickly we would see each other and how often we'd text so it seemed like a good thing, until he disappeared after I said I wanted to take it slow. I guess he did not. But it was still a nice little week of attention.

Third, there was French-Canadian (so technically canadian but still FRENCH RIGHT?!) business guy who's here for two weeks and whom I met at yoga! I was late to yoga and there was one mat left and it happened to be beside him and though I should be focusing on myself at yoga, i couldn't help but notice that he was copying me and he's pretty inflexible so it was funny to watch. We ended up talking and after class I gave him my card. And though we had one dinner, because he's only here on business, it probably won't amount to anything but I had a fun night. So giving the card wasn't a bad idea in the end.

Finally, there's French intern whom i've been crushing on for a bit and though we're in different departments, still a guy from the office and only will be there for a couple of months. We've had lunch and we finally had drinks where I find out he's dating someone already -- and even if he wasn't, he said he wouldn't be comfortable dating someone from the office. Which is a totally valid concern (even if there's a lot of dating going on in the office). Rejection in a way always sucks and it sucks because he's actually a great guy, but one more friend, I suppose if we could be that. C'est la vie indeed.

So as I go around, meeting all these new folks and always thinking it could be the start of something but not really wanting to expect, I can't help but realise that I do get attached oh so easily and second guess myself too many times and just feel terrible about the rejection or the eventual demise of these things. Clearly, I'm late to this dating game. I'm way later to the relationship game at 29 but I suppose there's not time to start but now. I'll get better? or more numb? or just more blasé about it all. The NYMag article definitely makes me re-think things and how I approach this.

I said I wouldn't' want to try so hard anymore and though I'm trying less than in Q4 of 2015, Q1 2016 turned out to be very social still for me, even without Tinder. I've been telling Risa and Sayaka that it's Risa-time and it's Sayaka-time and though I've been doing Patty-time for 29 years already, I guess it wouldn't hurt to have some me-time again. So we'll see.

On a side note, I should also probably stay away from French guys. It's not like I even seek them out, they jus happen to be the boys I meet. I don't think I've been scarred or anything but it's funny that four boys in a row turned out French and turned out to be nothing. Which isn't a sign or anything -- not even of the apocalypse though it's nice to term it this way, it's just interesting, I think.

There is no point to this entry other than a way to document the geographical coincidence of it all.

Tags: relationships

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