I've been thinking of resigning from my job for ages now. I love what I'm doing and feel incredibly privileged to get to do the work I do, but I also find myself incredibly exhausted and anxious all the time.
Though I love what i do, every single thing would just get to me. Everything was getting negative and I couldn't tell myself to think otherwise. I know it's all in the head and I can condition myself to think a different way, but I can't un-see things or un-feel things.
And if I can't deal with something, I know I should try to fix things but some things are out of my hands and if i can't help change things, I just felt like it was a lost cause. After a lot of thought, and a lot of prayers, I though, why not? But the timing was never right and I was too chicken and just too unsure of the future.
So after much thought, i talked to all the people involved and said how I felt. It was difficult and unnerving and not fun but at least it's out there. I feel better and lighter and definitely with weight off my shoulders. Will I perform better in these next few months? I sure hope so. Will I stop being so negative? I pray so.
Next steps? I don't know. But it's okay. I know I'll figure it out soon enough. For now though, i feel better and that's all matters.