Patty (woodycakes) wrote,

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Three years may not be long relative to everyone else in the company, but I feel like I've been in the company forever. And it's not necessarily a bad thing. I've been so blessed to have found a job I truly love and enjoy and I'm lucky enough to still be in it three years down the road.

Am I itching? Kind of. Will I do anything about it? I don't know. It's been the craziest and fastest yet slowest three years of my life and I've gone through lots of ups and downs but one thing is for sure, there are no regrets. I didn't think I would learn this much and experience this much when I transferred jobs back in 2010.

Back in 2010, I knew I was leaving another awesome corporation, but didn't realize what a trip I'd be buckling myself into. And the drive has been pretty fantastic. I've met so many passionate and creative people who are so devoted to their careers. I'd like to think I've grown and learned so much more than when I first entered, totally clueless and literally faking it till I made it.

I've learned to deal with all sorts of people. And though I'm still no expert in maneuvering the office politics, I know better now and try my best to be better every day. Am I tired? Hell yes. Am I demotivated? To an extent. But I think it's part of the three year itch.

I've come to realize I'm a big(ish) medium-ish fish in a small pond and though it's a nice place to be, I don't know if I want to stay in a small pond. There's still so much of the small pond I have to discover and learn, but I feel like in time, I'll be ready to move on to the bigger sea. I'm so comfortable in the small pond, it scares me. I love the comfort.

And though I know that I shouldn't be complacent and I have SO MUCH TO learn and do, it makes me wonder how much more can I push myself? I really do want to grow and learn and be better but I'm at a point where I'm just really tired and jaded.

I went to an interview with a quasi-fresh grad and she made me wish I had that vigor and excitement still. She was so green and eager and just so hyped, I wish I had that energy again. I get that I'm still a novice relative to everyone else, but I also feel like I've been through so much.

I want to go back to that interview phase when I was eager to get the job done and get it done excellently. It'll take time and re-conditioning, but I Think it's possible. I probably just need a better outlook on things. Three things down the line, I've seen a lot, but I want to see things with a fresh pair of eyes again.

Here's to the three years and a possible three more down the line. I don't know where the hell I'm going, but I'm so grateful for the three that I've conquered. I've got a damn long way to go.

Tags: employment, work friends
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