I guess what I'm more sad about is how my family is slowly losing members to different places. I know it's bound to happen with everyone growing up and it's not even because I'm still here in Manila. It's just getting harder to get everyone together at the same time. This Christmas isn't even a sure thing anymore.
And now, I've set alarms to remind myself to email siblings or chat with brothers or just make time to see and get in touch with them. Sure, when they were around, we wouldn't really get to hang out as often (everyone had their own thing), but at least they were so much easier to bug or annoy or just talk to since they were in the next bedroom.
And now, we've got one empty bedroom and another 2/3 empty and it just feels weird. So I'm trying, and really trying my best to actively spend time with the siblings even if it isn't very cool to hang around your older sister. With my little sister, it's a bit easier -- we're roomies after all, but it still gets difficult cause weekends are way too short and everyone's got their thing, but I'll try harder.
With my brother though, there's the challenge. Between college, his org, now that he's driving, his laptop, his friends and his girlfriend, there's barely enough time for himself, so I'm not sure when I'll be able to insert myself into his life but I'd definitely want to try.
So as much as I kill myself over work, I really do want to try make myself more visible at home, especially on weekdays. Even if everyone's stressed out with school, just being together should count for something, right? I guess now that we're older it's expected that more effort needs to be put in and I'll just have to pour in the time.
So as much as I hate all this leaving and coming and leaving and coming and riding planes that aren't in my control, I guess I just need to establish more time with the family. I don't go out as it is and I still feel like it's not enough time. So here's to making more time? No matter how difficult. And sappiness, done.