Patty (woodycakes) wrote,

  • Mood:
  • Music:

The Good and the Bad

My boss is constantly checking up on me on how I'm doing and though there are days when I feel really shitty and there are days when I'm okay, it's making me really think about how i feel about everything happening at work.

As a background, in my first job, I had zero clue what I was doing, but as I got the hang of things, a bomb gets dropped on us (well technically, just talks of a bomb drop) that our division was being absorbed/integrated into the larger group.

And given that it was my first job and I really relied on my team mates to guide me (I was the youngest), I made a decision to jump ship. I don't regret it. It led me to my second (and current job) which I'm quite dedicated to. This job made me realize I want to stay in this industry. And I feel really lucky to find my place so soon and so quickly after college.

After a year and a half at this second job, I seem to be getting a hang of things, we get another bomb. The same bomb. I don't know if it's me, or if it's really the catch phrase of the industry. Integration is right around the corner again and this time, it's really happening. Preparations have been put into place and things are full steam ahead.

This time, I don't want to run away like I did last time. I've told myself I would stick it out and see. It can't be all bad, right? Being absorbed has to have some perks and I'm trying my best to stay positive about all of this and not dwell on the negative. There are days when I think walking away would be the best recourse, but then I shake myself and convince myself this is a good thing.

And it should be. I've talked to bosses and co-workers and team mates and whatnot and though there are cons, there are also pros. Unfortunately, the pros aren't manifesting themselves as quickly as I'd like them to. It's con after con after con and after a few weeks of cons, I realize my threshold for cons isn't as high as I thought it would be.

But I'm trucking on. I have to. I want to. I feel like I owe it to myself to not have another what-if I stuck around moment. I don't know what's going to happen or how it will work out and the anxiety and uncertainty is killing me. But I'll try my best to go with the flow this time. Here's to trusting in the uncertain future. It'll all fall into place. Somehow.
Tags: employment
  • Post a new comment


    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded