So the book is called, Surrendered Single and unlike most books, I'm not breezing through it. Mostly because I don't actually agree with everything, but it's got some pretty 'useful' insights that sort of hit home but also some things, I just can't bring myself to believe or do.
First off, I take back what I thought before. There are potential people to sort of be interested in, or at least that don't repulse me. And though most of these boys, I meet but once and never interface with again, it's still interesting to know that my world is indeed very very small and there is an entire GALAXY out there of actual people who I might find interesting one day -- if I actually get to meet them outside my biosphere.
From the friend of the friend, whom I met while having dinner out with said college friend who gave me the book I'm reading. We were having dinner and a friend of hers came up to her and said hi. So she introduced us and though this person didn't strike me as anything at first, on his way out, he stops by to say bye and small talks with me regarding our common friend (the girl I'm eating dinner with) and her colorful love life. And though he asks me for my name again (a little LOL moment for him not remembering in the first place), I realize he only does this so he can call me by name when he tells me it's nice to meet me. This boy is charming. Oh so very charming that I found myself being less stiff around him and more 'banter-y.'
This is a rare occasion. I'm usually stiff as a board when interacting with the possibility of flirtation. But i suppose because I have zero interest in this person, who seems be friendly to me, I feel no need to impress whatsoever. The clincher of this entire story is that after he leaves, he and my friend are texting and he says 'Sorry, he couldn't help it. Patty looked really nice.' What he couldn't help was, I'm assuming, outing my friend's dating history to me (not that I didn't know any of this, as that's what we were discussing before he even arrive).
But what got to me was the latter half of the sentence. Did he find me 'nice' as in, she's nice or nice-looking? Either way, I take it as a compliment. WHAT A COMPLIMENT CAN DO!!! I actually found myself more 'attracted' to him even if what i was thinking prior to that was, "oh, what a friendly guy" and definitely not, "oh, i'm so interested in him."
And no, before you even ask. Guy has a girlfriend whom he's been with for a couple of years and I'm just not that interested. The moral of that story was that, it doesn't hurt to get complimented. Well, for me at least. That's the lesson I got from that story.
Then there was guy number two, some art director from some agency who I was in a meeting with and though we were in a room filled with client and other agency folk, I felt he was so intense as I was presenting, asking all these questions and being generally interested. AND YES, he could have been interested in what I was just saying or he could really be just intense, but the romance-starved naive little girl in me interpreted it as something else entirely and so when I bid the group goodbye, I said it was nice to meet them all and he looks at me, still intensely and says, 'likewise' which is really NOTHING but in my world, it's something as I over-read and over-analyze every little thing.
AND THIS GUY IS NOT MY TYPE AT ALL, like at all. I'm not into the artsy looking, intimidating types but this one, with that one word and intense gaze all throughout makes me question 'my type' and really what I'm even looking for.
And I know, I've seen the movie He's Just Not That Into You and I get that if a boy is interested, he'll let you know. I'm just saying, that though these boys weren't necessarily interested in marrying me or having babies with me (NOR WAS I INTERESTED IN THAT!!!! WITH THEM!!!), it was just a nice feeling to know that somehow, they found me interesting enough to say that I 'looked really nice' or a 'likewise' without me having to over-extend myself into my usual crazy!Patty-is-so-hyper-and-entertaining-a
So yes, this has gone way too long but the point of this entire thing is that I'm a little less doubtful and a little more hopeful now. There are still boys out there who could hold my interest, and hopefully could find me interesting as well. I just haven't met them all. And at 25, I should probably not kill over from 'looking' so damn hard.
And still, the story of my life is me wanting guys who don't want me back, but let's save that for another tl;dr entry, right?
Now pat yourself on the back if you've read this all. That's right, I'm looking at you. I've obviously shared way too much and I should shut up now.