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[-] THIS WEEK WENT BY TOO FAST and had TOO MUCH going on thus the lateness of this post. I literally wasn't breathing (figuratively and almost literally). I think I need to chill a bit more this week. As if though. July is birthday month in the family and there's more 'partying' in the weeks to come. I'm going to faint.
[+] And though I'm not the biggest party person, I had to attend two this week for work and though I wouldn't say it was my scene at all, they were actually pretty fun, if only to experience them. I wont' ever be as dressed up as everyone else but it was pretty crazy just hanging out and being there. I'm still reeling, a bit. Obviously it's already the next week, so I hope this week was good for you.
I had to sit through a whole day seminar and though I don't usually appreciate these things, this one was actually quite relevant to the job and quite helpful. I don't know how much of it I'll actually be able to practice, but I didn't mind the workshops or the group works perhaps because it felt very real and very much connected to what we do in real life.
And though I was a little nervous presenting at one of the workshops, I just thought, whatever, the worst they could do is heckle me (silly, I know, but totally a legitimate feeling, I must say) and just went for it and it didn't go so bad. I wish we'd have one solely for my division though cause technically we were just sitting in since it was meant mainly for print, but still, we took what we could get. I missed my desk though and the emails piled up but hey, one day away (sort of) wasn't bad.
In a mini-scare, I sort of think the anxiety attacks are coming back. I don't know what's triggering them since I can't think of a reason I should be stressed right now (there are a couple, but nothing MAJOR enough to bring back my breathlessness and pscyho-somatic dyspnea) so i hope this is just a very very temporary feeling that will go away very very soon.
I get client is king and they make all the shots but I do wish deadlines were respected. I know it's never going to work in that ideal way but in my perfect bubble, they'd actually conform to deadlines that were set. Cause it all seems like a farce, being asked to make timelines when in the end, we all have to bend to their will. I appreciate the money being put in, I do. I just wish things worked a little differently. I guess when i accept that we will always be the one to bend, I'll have a better time.
Because of all the 'festivities' these coming days, Wednesday feels like the last day of the work week. And still, there's a hell of things to do. It's a good thing, I still have things to keep me distracted or rather focused, rather than worrying about the upcoming events -- which I really have no hand in, so technically I shouldn't be all worried. But I am. Because I'm a worrier like that.
Still, I'm going to relish getting to bed at a good hour tonight because the next two days will guarantee sleepless nights and just exhaustion in general. Considering I don't go out much (or at all), the next two days should be fun. For now though, there's still work I must do. And there are just a few hours to finish everything. Why must days be so short and yet so long?
I honestly don't know where to begin with the amount of work I have to do for Monday. Considering I have to be out on two nights (instead of sleeping early or watching my favorite kdrama), I'm still doing work that I don't need to do. I hate how I'm slowly getting my anxiety attacks back. I hate getting this back. I already lost it and now it's slowly coming back. I need to chill.
My god, I'm not a party person but because my work actually requires me to attend events (i'm not complaining really, I'm just still in shock), I attended part 1 of a big event one of our print titles has. Needless to say, it's not my scene but thanks to the girls, I had fun. Free food and booze on a Thursday night? Yes please. I dont' know how they do it so often but I'm glad I only have to do this once a year. Until tomorrow then,
I can't win. I really can't. Just when I think I've sort of got a hang of things, I realize I'm way in over my head and totally messing things up. I admit it was a mistake on my part but technically, I shouldn't even be handling it, but because if I do let the proper people handle it, it'll be like I was doing it anyway so to cut the relaying of messages, I took it on. And true enough, I thought it was all good, and of course, it isn't. I hate having to worry about small things that AREN'T EVEN my responsibility, but I guess we just never really win.
Still, the week ended pretty much on a high-ish note with the work event with the 70s theme (No I didn't put in much effort in the costume) but it was a different experience. Afterwards, I met up with college friends for coffee. I rarely see them so when I'm out of the house and they invite me, it's hard to say no. It was a fun morning, that's for sure.
Obviously, I wouldn't wake up for anything and I ended up getting up at noon. Still, there was no one at home so it's a good thing my mom took me along to see my grandma. I haven't seen in her in a bit either so it was nice to catch up -- even if I really just wanted to nap all day. I'm easy, okay?
We end up with an early night in (my kind of nights) and me starting Game of Thrones. I didn't think I'd be into it, but two episodes in and I'm already hooked. Something tells me I'm going to do a rewatch where I see it slowly cause I just rushed through the entire thing pretty much. It's that good.
I was supposed to meet my old office mates for the birthday of my ex-boss but I wasn't feeling well at all. I think the constant late nights and me not being used to late nights really took a toll on me and I was feeling cold the entire day. I had a hoodie on and was pretty much laying down in front of the tv and napping so I wasn't feeling good enough to trek to the North.
Instead, I stayed home and finished Game of Thrones, Productive right? But for something I wasn't really into, I'm surprisingly consumed by it that I now want to read those books. They look pretty crazy to tackle but I have a feeling I'll manage somehow. Sundays are always way too short. It's not fair.