|Christmas Came Early||[harper's bazaar]|
Because I'm supposed to be behaving at work with photos like this, it's hard to act appropriately. Apparently, the entire fandom had exploded already beforehand while I was asleep. Everyone's exhausted the superlatives for this one, so I'll just say that this photoshoot delivered the goods.
Nevertheless, thank you Harper's Bazaar. Your website will crash and your magazine will sell out. Thank you Mark Seliger for coming up with the most ship-friendly photos. Thank you Laura Brown for the most insightful interview to date. Okay, I'm dead now.
Who spends more time on their hair?
"I have weird personal-space issues, and so I can't stand people -- um, I'll do anything to not have any touch-ups."
Kristen on Stature
"I’m 5'6". I feel like I should be taller. I feel like I'm smaller than my mental stature. I should be 5'10". 5'10" would be very good."
Rob On Money
"I don't spend any money. The only thing I've really bought is my car, which cost $1,500 and keeps exploding. It would be nice to buy a house for my parents, but at the same time my parents are so comfortable where they live; they would probably just feel like it was a burden. I wear the same clothes every day and the only thing I used to splurge on was DVDs."
The most outgoing?
Rob: "I was once, but not so much anymore. Kristen's a little more open now."
Kristen on Baking
"I make really good pie. Apple pie -- it's the best."
Rob on Modeling
"I peaked at 12. There are so many photos from that time where I look unbearably awkward. I'd just be looking in random directions and stuff."
Who's the better musician?
Kristen: "Rob. He's a great singer. Heartbreaking."
Kristen on Acting
"Anything that I do for work, I'm nervous about. If I'm not nervous about it, then I shouldn't be doing it."
Rob on Dancing
He says dancing makes him nervous. "I used to be really good, but then something happened in my brain."
Who's More Egotistical?
"I'd have to say him. I hope he says him too actually. Like every time he looks in the mirror and he twists his hair. Actually, he could give a fuck about his hair. I hope that sarcasm translates."
"It's kind of a tie. We're both pretty proud people. Her ego is more solid than mine, but mine has soared to such peaks, it's ridiculous. Mine's more erratic, but it can get to a point when it's, like, godlike. Only in my eyes, of course. Sometimes just when I say hello the right way, I'm like, Whoa, I'm so cool."
Who Googles themselves more?
"She would say me, but I reckon it's her. If either one of us catches the other one doing it, we're like, Jesus Christ, is that what you're looking at? And the other one's on their phone pretending to text. I look up my competition more than she does. I'm incredibly shallow. I think she just looks at herself."
Who's More Athletic?
"I'm definitely claiming that one. Rob can barely jump rope. I call him Flippy because when he does his stunt rehearsals, he flips around [makes a gesture like a penguin]. And, God, when he tries to run ..."
"Kristen. You notice it in the film; she looks so much more athletic than I do. And I'm supposed to be the superhero."
Kristen: "Who can hang? Definitely me. He's very sensitive. He's got a fragile ego.""
Who's More Competitive?
"Rob. In a very childish way, in every aspect of his life. He'll literally start talking in a different voice if he's won something. He sounds like a five-year-old."
"I'd say it was even. She said me? Really? When I really win things, it's just like..." [He makes a noise like a five-year-old.]
Kristen on Menswear
"I think it's sexy when chicks wear black slouchy trousers -- fitted, but slouchy. I look at designer clothes on Rob and I'm like, 'I want those pants, man.'"
Rob on Anonymity
"I kind of wish people didn't know who I am, that I could just lie, say I'm a speechwriter for Obama. This is what I said before Twilight. And then Obama came along and picked up all these young writers. I found out this guy, Jon Favreau -- who's not the actor Jon Favreau -- is writing for him. And I was like, 'Wow, I wonder if the people who thought I was bullshitting at the time are like, 'Oh my god. That guy! That kid who was drunk in some bar actually wrote the health care bill!'"
Who's More Superstitious?
"Rob. He's a little bit more paranoid, so that feeds into superstition more."
"I am. I believe a lot in karma and stuff. Like when I end up with egg on my face, I'm like, Fate! I was born doomed. But I think it's more being an idiot than superstitious."
Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart's Wild Ride [Harper's Bazaar]