Patty (woodycakes) wrote,

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

Give Me Some Cute JGL[All Movie Photos]
Because for some reason, I still HAVE NOT seen this week's Mad Men, I figured I'd finally get over my G.I. Joe experience since it's been nagging me anyway that I haven't said my bit.

Not that I have a lot to say, because I'm a pretty easy to please movie viewer and my dad was itching to watch this movie. How could I say no to my dad who really just likes to take me out? jamypye tagged along and bought a bag of popcorn, while I turned off my brain for a bit.

I remember my brother _lexizzle had a Duke doll action figure? It was like a Barbie except very male and non-feminine and I'd use Duke to play with my Barbies cause he looked a lot better than Ken -- and was built so much better too. That's about as far as my G.I. Joe knowledge goes (I think I watched a cartoon). So I wasn't expecting anything other than lots of explosions and girls in leather.

Critics Sure Think It's Like Transformers

When All Else Fails, They Don'tPhoto courtesy of All Movie Photos
  • Roger Ebert of the Chicago Sun-Times said:
    Certainly better than "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen." How so? Admittedly, it doesn't have as much cleavage. But the high-tech hardware is more fun to look at than the transforming robots, the plot is as preposterous, and although the noise is just as loud, it's more the deep bass rumbles of explosions than the ear-piercing bang of steel robots pounding on each other.
    Who knew my sister and Roger Ebert think alike? This is the first thing that Pamy tells me when we exit the cinema. That she liked it more than Transformers. And for some reason, I couldn't get myself to agree. Though it wasn't worse than Transformers, maybe I was biased by my like for Shia or the fact that I already had a backgrounder with Transformers. And since both of them are from the same Hasbro family, I guess they can't help but compare. But for me, they're kinda different for me to even compare them

  • Besty Sharky of the Los Angeles Times said:
    The action is mostly brisk and bracing and the battleground, particularly Cobra's headquarters -- a vast network of tunnels under the polar ice cap -- are wonderfully imagined, as are the futuristic machines at the Joes' disposal. Basically, the Joes are not bad, it's just that they could have been much better with a little less conversation, a little more action.
    The script, I have to say isn't much, but I wasn't expecting thought provoking lines anyway. Perhaps the delivery came out a little cheesy at times and a bit contrived if anything, but I really wasn't expecting anything profound, so I'm not going to complain other than the deadpan delivery of some crazy ass lines that really made me laugh. I can't remember them now, but Pamy and I were definitely entertained.

  • Richard Kuipers of Variety said:
    While thesping is not the main game here, having a cast of bright young things certainly helps, and Quaid gets in a few nice John Wayne-like moments as the no-nonsense boss.
    And yes, the cast that wasn't covered up in scars or headgear, were really pretty to look at. This helped. This made me last through the movie just thinking about how good looking and how ripped everyone's bodies were. It also made me regret eating so much popcorn in the cinema.

    I'm Just Here to Appreciate the Pretty

    Evil Never Looked So GoodPhoto courtesy of All Movie Photos
  • Speaking of the pretty: The newly married Channing Tatum must always walk around without his shirt. He doesn't have to talk. I actually found Marlon Wayans really funny and he was welcome comic relief.

  • The girls are too gorgeous. Sure, Karolina Kurkova doesn't last so long, and her delivery leaves much to be desired, but you can't fault her for being pretty. I've never seen fatigues look so flattering/form fitting on anyone. I've never been a fan of Sienna Miller, but during the press tour for this movie, she kept dressing up real nice and so it made me like her more. And Rachel Nichols! Aliaaaaaaas! That is all.

  • I thought the holograms were pretty impressive when they first showed Dennis Quaid's character's profile. I was impressed at how lifelike he was and then they'd cut to a side shot and he was flat. But then they couldn't recreate this when they showed the bomb seller (i forgot his name). He looked too real to be a hologram and they didn't do any profile shots to prove he was a hologram, instead resorting to 'glitchy' computer whatevers on his skin to show he was indeed not there. I know CGI is difficult but I couldn't help but think, Cop out!

  • ETA: Thanks to lovekissed for reminding me! How could I forget Storm Shadow?! It's so easy to spot him anywhere thanks to his very very nice white wardrobe. I distinctly remember telling my sister how he had the best bit of wardrobe from the entire cast. All his white outfits were hot. And yes, he fights pretty damn well too.

  • Also, why did they feel the need to uglify Joseph Gordon-Levitt?! He was the bright spot in it for me. I looked forward to seeing him and well I didn't really see him. I also wonder if they used actual actors for Snake Eyes since we don't ever really see him. Except in those flashbacks...

  • Which leads me to things I did like about the movie being the flashbacks. All of them. I thought they were so well produced. I don't know why, but it just felt like so much effort was put into these back stories, from the way they were shot to the sets used and all. The martial arts flashbacks were nicely choreographed and the production design was superb. Then there were the Duke/Anna flashbacks all golden in the field which I loved and felt there needed to be more. Also, the Duke/Anna proposal flashback with cute and very-human JGL was obviously very welcome.

  • Lastly, I thought they used Paris really well. It was nice to see them NOT blow up New York or LA or the White House. So Paris was the object of destruction, but they did it really prettily. When Duke and sidekick put on their gear and started traipsing on the Champs-Élysées, it made me want to visit Paris -- not that I didn't want before. But the way they wrecked it, was really good. The office building chase was pretty spectacular as well.

  • And though I can't say this was my favorite movie of the year, or one of my favorites, it wasn't something I hated. Thank goodness for the pretty.

    RELATED: 100 Movies in 2009 [116/100]
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