Patty (woodycakes) wrote,

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Gossip Girl 01x06: The Handmaiden's Tale

For Gossip Girl's sixth episode (and last one, before they go on a one week break), Blair and the gang are attending a masquerade ball. But of course, Blair won't do all the hard work, so in comes little Jenny, as her devoted handmaiden -- of course, in hopes that she'll be invited to the said ball.

Meanwhile, Vanessa and her full head of hair, is back in the city and is determined to claim dear Dan's heart. Unfortunately for Vanessa, Dan is already smitten by Serena. Then of course, there's my favorite couple ever -- Rufus+Lilly. All I can say is: Papa Rufus is TEH SEX! Spin-off. Right. Now.

The cutest alila (servant) ever, Jenny runs errands in a chic red coat and beret. I agree with Sophie when she says this girl is going to be a bigger queen bee than Serena and Blair combined. And yet I really feel for her. Here she is, doing all the dirty work for Blair. Still, she looks far from dirty -- clean and polished all the way.

I read in EW, that Vanessa is actually Serena and it really made sense. I have to admit, at first I wasn't so happy to see Vanessa. She's yet another obstacle in the Dan-Serena love affair, but then when I saw her onscreen, she's obviously totally lovable. I'm loving how they made her the polar opposite of Serena and yet they really are so the same.

Poor Kati and Isabella. These girls never say anything! I know that one line is better than no line, but they're thoroughly underused. I wish they'd revolt against Blair or something, but that would be giving them too much spotlight. Still, they're looking good, with or without lines. Hell, I would take their parts -- minimal effort, maximum outcome. Love it.

And the first aanga-angang Nate shot of the day. Sure, his character is as flat as paper, but in real life, this guy has got it going on with his constant date, Carrie Underwood. Damn that girl gets all the good things. Anyway, back to the show, Nate is disturbed over finding drugs! And he runs to Serena because of course, he can't get ahold of his girlfriend, Blair. What a pity. Whatever Nate, I need more emotion from you. Still, it doesn't mean you're not a pretty face, because boy are you pre-tty.

Look! It's Rufus and Lilly! And Bart Bass with Caridee English (from ANTM!)! Well well well, looks like they're milking the Caleb Nichol DOM route. Still, I have to say that Caridee could pass off as Bart's daughter. No, not only because she's young enough to be, but because for some strange reason, I feel like they actually look alike. Same long, thin face, fine features, they could really pass off as father-daughter. Poor Rufus, he finally realizes why he was invited in the first place. You're still my number 1, Rufus. Still my number 1.

So the masks come on for the masquerade ball and I have to say, I've seen better masks. Do you see how the masks reflect the character's well, character? There's Chuck with his demon mask (the resident bad boy), the Phantom mask for Nate (because he's a two face?), the intricate angelic mask for Serena (cause she's complicated like that); the stolen mask for Dan (cause he's obviously an outsider) and the dark, regal mask for Blair (cause she's the dark?).

I don't understand how a mask that covers a mere half of the face can hide the true identity of its wearer. Either Chuck is blind, or he's stupid, because it's obviously Jenny. Then again, I guess they're trying to show that Chuck would bang anything and anyone, thus his recent run-in with Jenny is forgotten due to the sheer number of girls he has per episode.

So it's official. I know where Nate got his stoned looks. No, it's not from the drugs he's taking. It's from his mom! I finally see Mrs. Archibald and well, I'm not impressed. When I was reading the books, I imagined a much older couple to play the Captain and his wife, but hey Josh Schwartz has his vision too. Unfortunately for the TV version, they've been screwed with to infinity. Here we see, the missus bartering his son off to Eleanor Waldorf for the price of a rock (diamond, of course). Lovely parents I so don't want to have.

I'm sorry to say but I think this show has jumped the shark. Anything you put after a Rufus-Lilly kiss is pointless, because this is the summit of the entire show. Sorry Gossip Girl, but it's all downhill from here. But all kidding aside, I'm so glad Rufus was bold enough to do this. And obviously, it's not like Lilly stopped him either. Score one for Team Humphrey. Rufus, you can kiss me anytime.

And looks like sonny boy, Dan Humphrey isn't going to let his dad take one over him. So why not kiss Lilly's daughter too? These Humphrey boys seem to be getting the most action in this show. And rightfully so. This scorching father and son duo are getting the ladies and getting it on! And all of this happening in the first six episodes. I hope that Josh doesn't deprive us of some Humphrey action later on in the season, because that would be mean mean mean of him.

Chuck! Why'd you let little Jenny play you??? It's nice to see Chuck half naked at the rooftop though. Sweet vengeance for the underdog. And yet, somehow I feel bad for him. I don't think he deserved that much. Who knew he was a skinny boy?

The look of love! I swear these two have too much going for them!!! And yet they have to put aside these feelings so both they're children can experience happiness. I wonder how Josh Schwartz will resolve this entire Humphrey-Van Der Woodsen bruhaha because for sure, only one couple can survive -- for things to be acceptable/realistic. I can't even choose! Dan-Serena or Rufus-Lilly? Oh the decisions.

The previews are very sneaky. They edited it in such a way that you would think Blair and Dan saw Nate kissing Jenny (whom Nate thinks is Serena). When in reality, no one saw anything. So apparently, Nate is back to getting hung up on Serena. Poor Blair. I really feel terrible for her. Her stupid ass boyfriend (whom she's so devoted to) is snooping behind her back. Terrible choice for a boyfriend, really.

And Dan scores again it's 2-1 now between him and his dad. I realized that Serena and Dan don't have much of a relationship outside of their fighting-making up. But really, who am I to complain? They're high school kids after all and I guess that's what they're supposed to be doing. I'd like to see them hang out and talk without fighting then kissing though. Of course they can kiss if they want, but let's lay off the fighting first. Do you hear me, Josh?

Confirmed. Nate Archibald has the suckiest lines, the suckiest relationship, the suckiest expresions and the suckiest parents. These people are awful. And they wonder why their son is the way he is? His father is so messed up! I really do pity Nate -- even more than Kati and Isabella and their lack of lines. Because Nate is supposed to be a lead, right? And he's getting the short end of everything. Except Carrie of course. Still Carrie does not even out all the evil things being done to him.

So they're friends again? Awww. Dan is a real player I see. String along Vanessa for the ride, while he's hooking up with Serena. Make up your mind, Humphrey! One day you'll wake up and both girls will be gone!!! And Vanessa must be pretty desperate herself to hang around Dan knowing that she ain't the one for him. She really must love him.

Thus another set of hurdles to jump for the next few weeks. Josh sure knows how to complicate things in the ever evolving world of these Upper East Siders. But the real question is, why are they going on a break next week?!? Where will I get my Gossip Girl fix? Looks like I'll be doing a marathon of the six episodes I have to tide me over. Josh Schwartz knows just how to torture me. Rawr.
Tags: gossip girl
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