I know that it's silly for me to do this considering I've only had 11 days of school, but it feels like forever. We had Trigonometry today and I felt like crying. Not because I was trying to so hard to understand the lesson (we're reviewing), but I can already see how the class is going to turn out. I don't have the drive the like I did last year with Advanced Algebra. There's just no interest on my part. It's not like the teacher is doing much to help. I just feel like I want to run out of the room screaming whenever we have classes. It's crazy. I feel crazy.
And I don't know but nothing seems to be ending on a happy note. I'm okay and I'm not depressed, but I'm just so tired from the monotonous drone of everyday routine. I know that I better get used to it, because that's what life is probably all about, but do I really have to spend my formative years sitting in a classroom that just isn't very conducive to learning?
Hani and I are just counting down to when we can chow down on lunch or recess or anything. I don't know why this is happening to me. I used to be so diligent. I was so much more responsible. Now, I just want to get out! I just want to finish. And that's horrible. I need to be extra attentive this year and instead all I do is laugh during class. If I'm not laughing, I'm sleeping.
Help! I need a serious change. I need to get on one of those 12 steps to a better future kind of programs. I need to rehabilitate myself because at the rate I'm going, I probably won't even graduate. I know I can do better, I'm just so f***ing lazy. Instead of studying, here I am reading The Emperor's New Journal by Pamy. What's wrong with me? I need a do-over. I need a fresh start. I know that all i have to do is get off my ass and get a move on.
Damn, I'm too lazy.