Patty (woodycakes) wrote,

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Stick to your day job

Apparently, I'm not a good enough to be on the staff of Blazon. I joined last year and since there were so many members, I had to join a department I didn't exactly like: the Filipino department. The thing is, I really wanted to be part of the school paper and since I knew that in my senior year, I'd be a part of the yearbook staff, it didn't matter if I was in what department, as long as I was in.

But see, everything changed this year and not only am I not a part of the Yearbook committee, but I'm not even an editor on the school paper. Usually the senior members -- that's us -- are the editors of the departments, but obviously, I'm not cut for it. I guess, my writing just doesn't make it to the league of great journalism.

It's a real blow to the already fragile ego and I don't know how this is going to sit with my poor self-esteem. So much for reaching self-actualization, I guess I'm back to esteem need, now that my pride has been shut down again. Goodbye delusions of writing. I'm not made for journalism after all.

This is good that I'm getting all of this right now. Imagine if I took journalism in college and had the rude awakening then. Maybe I'm overreacting, but I have to admit that it wouldn't hurt if I got some sort of position in the Blazon. I don't know. I just feel so unaccomplished this year. Maybe there, I would be able to find some sense of fulfillment, but I guess that's not going to happen anymore.

Anyway, we had our first official CSDC meeting this afternoon and I have to say I'm proud of the way I tucked in my shirt. Sure, I was wearing five layers of clothing. Yes, five. I couldn't sit, bend, breathe, eat, pee and all the other essential functions of a living person, but I did get three smiley faces and not a single sad face for my uniform. Here comes excellence in CSDC.

Lastly, I want to say goodbye to Guel. You take care and have a great time in Singapore, if that's possible. I know that school is difficult, but you're a genius. Sadly, I'll probably be saying goodbye to my brother soon. PB/Lex will be taking the test for the same scholarship and I might be bidding him goodbye too. Damn! This is making me cry...
Tags: blazon and yearbook, more family, siblings
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