PB might go to Singapore too. Can't believe it. It was weighing in his head a year ago when Guel left and I so wasn't expecting that it would actually happen. The stupid thing is, I was the one who gave him the stupid ad. I shouldn't have. Not that I don't want him to live his life, but that's not the way things are supposed to go. Pamy's supposed to leave first then me then him. It's not his turn yet and he's going to leave us all behind.
He's got to live his life and the fact that I won't be there to see him every single day is going to be really weird. To see him, all I have to do is cross the hallway and now, I have to wait for months before he gets here. To think, we were just starting to get "close." Oh well, as they always say, all good things must come to an end. Not that it's all downhill from here, but I guess the thought of him leaving is a bit too far fetched right now. The sad part is, whether I like it or not, if he passes that test, I'll be seeing him for a month (accumulated) in a year. That's tough for someone I see every single day of my life.
Haaay, so much for that. I'm super trying to "cherish" the time we have together -- goodness, it's like he's terminally ill or something, not that I'd want him to be -- because before I know it poof! he'll be gone. I can sort of relate to Niq now. I just have to keep an open mind about things or I'll go crazy for sure just thinking about it.
I had Blazon try-outs yesterday. It was freaking difficult. To think I'm already a member. Sir Joey said that it was for positions in the staff and I guess I could deal with that. But those were probably the four most difficult tasks ever. Here's a little rundown of the things asked of me. Time limit: an hour and a half.
- Give three values of good journalism and why it would be relevant to me
I'm sorry, but I love to write, but values in good journalism. I guess, I'm not such a responsible journalist. I listed three values: honesty, creativity and the ability to make the reader think. I don't even know if those qualify as answers, but I was pressed for answers as I looked down on that clean sheet of paper. The pressure was killing me. I had to write something down and I guess that was the best I could do at the moment.
- Sell myself
Why do I deserve the job? I guess I don't deserve it. I'm sure there a thousand greater writers out there, but hey, they didn't try out and I had to make sure that I was confident enough. Confidence is key, even if I wasn't feeling very sure of myself and my writing at that moment. So I said that I was determined and persevering and that I seemed to write everywhere anyway, so why not vent on the school publication. Basically, I tried my best to sell myself without becoming too much of a prostitute.
- Come up with a theme for the first issue and give a list of articles included
I say Povedan Pride because we lack school spirit. There's no unity and no one's proud to be a part of the school community. So put the great achievements of the students that no one really sees and show them that there is something to be proud of. I don't know if that convinced him, but I thought that was pretty good. I don't think it's conceited though because we do lack it -- pride, I mean. I don't know if I justified it properly, but then again, we're talking an hour and a half here. It sounds long, but it flies by like that.
- Write a 500 hundred word editorial on the topic Changes and Election
Well, that's a challenge considering my mind was blank for the first three tasks. The gist was that the only change an election brings is a turn for the worse and we should all get out of here before the earth takes pity on us poor people and swallows the country up. I didn't want to sound so unpatriotic, but I think practicality kind of wins over the former in our situation now. Rizal would get out too and he's our national hero. I'm not kidding either
The thing is, I want the position I tried out for. Even if I deny it, I do. I want to accomplish something this year, other than my academics and hopefully, this is the thing. I feel so useless and unproductive. Although tomorrow, I'll hardly be any of this because...
I have CSDC tomorrow and I'm kind of scared. I can't seem to frown and look 500 meters away. I super look up to the senior officers, but now they're just waaay up there. The discipline! They are so good at it. They really deserve it. That's why I'm a lowly cadet and they are up up up up there. Iza is really good at what she does. She has these diagrams of where the posts will be in the event that classes get suspended. Whoa! She's planning ahead. It's crazy how she used to be so out of touch with all those school stuff and now she's practically holding up the entire thing. Jab left, jab right, jab center... Go Iza! Or Ma'am Encarnacion for me tomorrow.