Patty (woodycakes) wrote,
Patty
woodycakes

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Just Let Me Cry Version 2.0

I know I'm an emotional person and I cry really easily. However, I realized that I have a crying pattern. I cry because of Vs and due to Fs. At the start of the semester, I felt so much fear over BC 101 under Professor V that I just went on a crying jag.

Today, after seeing how I totally fucked up and failed (not my kind of failing, but real failure) my Comm 140 midterms, with yet another Professor V, that I cried again due to frustration.

I know it's silly to cry over grades, because they're not really a measure of knowledge (blah blah blah), but I grew up knowing I could do well if I worked hard. And I'm not trying to be haughty, but when I work my ass off, I expect there to be good results. At least I hope for good results.

I guess what really just got to me with Comm 140, is that no matter how hard I study, I just won't be good enough (point value-wise). And not to compare myself with others, but I really feel stupid, because in that list, there were so and so people above me and I know I worked just as hard. I don't even want to be number 1. I just want to see that what I do is paying off.

I really hope this will be the last V-induced crying jag due to yet another F. Seriously, I don't know how much more I can take.

I'm such a weakling

What a way to start Patty Appreciation Week
Tags: college sophomore
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