Today, after seeing how I totally fucked up and failed (not my kind of failing, but real failure) my Comm 140 midterms, with yet another Professor V, that I cried again due to frustration.
I know it's silly to cry over grades, because they're not really a measure of knowledge (blah blah blah), but I grew up knowing I could do well if I worked hard. And I'm not trying to be haughty, but when I work my ass off, I expect there to be good results. At least I hope for good results.
I guess what really just got to me with Comm 140, is that no matter how hard I study, I just won't be good enough (point value-wise). And not to compare myself with others, but I really feel stupid, because in that list, there were so and so people above me and I know I worked just as hard. I don't even want to be number 1. I just want to see that what I do is paying off.
I really hope this will be the last V-induced crying jag due to yet another F. Seriously, I don't know how much more I can take.
I'm such a weakling
What a way to start Patty Appreciation Week