October 15th, 2005

emma; only girl in the world

Friday I'm in Love ♥

Warning: I am a vicious stalker. If anyone is offended by manic girls stalking crushes who don't even give a rat's ass about their existence, then stop now, for this will only make you puke, roll your eyes, or even convulse from disgust.

I am crazy. I pine over crushes hopelessly (especially when they're fictional e.g. hollywood actors or pocket book characters) in hopes that I might have a charmed life a la Katie Holmes ending up with Tom Cruise when she fully had a huge crush on him when she was a little girl. Oh wait, she still is a little girl.

I do silly things just because people dare me to do so. I do silly spur of the moment actions. like copying crush's cellphone numbers while pretending to ponder whether I should sign up for a certain org, and keeping this cellphone number in my own phonebook though I am fully aware that I won't ever need it.

Until now.
* * *

Seeing Atom around school, I get the image that he's this activist who really wants change in the country, while of course being an over achiever in his applied physics course, winning triathlons left and right, playing saxophone on the side, while hosting a morning show that's way too early. Obviously, I've done my research.

This guy talks so passionately about his loathing for the way the government is being run that I form this stereotypical image in my head. The patriotic, activist who stands up to the Man. A la Brandon Boyd standing against capitalism (yet showing up in a Gap ad) or Coldplay being vegans (yet demanding chicken on their rider). I have nothing against them, in fact I love both of them and these are not only based solely on rumors but are also completely not connected to what I was talking about and are just really about me rambling... but the point is, I had built this image of Atom as someone who didn't hang out in Rockwell. Of course, this is probably the stupidest conclusion ever. Even activists go to the mall.

Thus, the shock of my life as I walked towards Fully Booked, totally minding my own business, when I see Atom eating in Olivers Super Sandwiches with the rest of the hosts of Breakfast (minus the clueless rebel, thank god).

I almost died.

What the hell was Atom doing in Rockwell, eating a sandwich. Of course, I couldn't stop there and just stare. That would be too obvious. So instead, I try to walk calmly and cooly towards the entrance wondering if my green shorts were too short, or if my orange shirt was clashing with the said short shorts. Just seeing him was the highlight of my evening.

As much as I wanted to order a sandwich and pull a chair up next to him, I knew that this was probably as near as I was going to get. Passing by him.

So, I stationed myself near the tables with a great vantage point of him. I was content, when I see my parenst passing the same way. I try signaling to my mom that Atom was indeed there, but my deaf parents didn't hear me. Luckily, my mother's fast eyes (I inherited them from her), spotted him as she tried to silently tell my father that it was indeed Atom they were passing by.

I was so giddy. The feeling I get when he's in AS talking during a rally was multiplied by a hundred. He looked really good in his red shirt, heartily eating his sandwich. All I ever get to see him do is lambast the government, so seeing him among friends was a whole new thing for me.

The evening couldn't get any better. Or so I thought.

From my great view, I saw that the his group was already leaving. My spirits fell. How could they leave so soon? I just got there. I was so down I actually turned down an order of crepes for dessert. When I turn down food, it's serious. But when I turn down a dessert, it is lethal.

I was about to turn away and actually browse books when I notice that Atom left his back pack under the table!!! I was so near them, I could have actually picked it up and gave it to him. But instead I shy away and let the waiters take it away. I waited around thinking Atom would be smart enough to actually remember he had a back pack with him and return to claim it. But after a few minutes of waiting, it was apparent that he totally forgot.

Then it hit me. How stupid of him. I know he was totally enjoying himself, but that was just plain irresponsible. He was lucky that there weren't any crazed fans around who would want to keep his bag and auction it off at Ebay or something. Or worse, Atom's bag could have fallen into my innocent hands and I'd take it home as a souveneir.

So yes, he is flawed. A mere mortal who also forgets his bag under the table.

There I am, seated with my dad and </a></b></a>pamy, still high on the fact that I saw him when Pamy has this brilliant dare. She actually dares me to text him that he forgot his bag. How convenient that I happen to have his number in my phone?

Who am I to turn down a dare? After a few minutes of hesitation, I send the most androgynous message I could think of.

Left your bag under the table

Immediately regretting sending the message, lest he let Globe track down my number and let his head get even bigger with the fact that he's got a full fledged stalker, I keep my phone on silent and go on with my life.

Of course, it's still there at the back of my head, wondering if it was even his backpack, or if it was his number. I try looking at books, but even books couldn't hold my interest at that moment. I was too consumed with all those fantastic daydreams forming in my head. My head was moving on hyperdrive and the fantasies were getting more absurd.

On the way home, I see that I have three new messages. Gack! One of them was from Atom. He actually replied!!! I could barely get my fingers to press any buttons. The car was shaking from my giddiness.

Oo nga eh. Do you
where i can get it?
Whos this pala?



Gack! The guy can't even text. Then again, he could have realized his monumental mistake of leaving his bag and therefore couldn't even get his brain to function and send a coherent message. But thanks to my UP education, I was able to decipher his message and realize that he just needed to rearrange some words in his message for it to make sense.

I of course hesitate replying. What was I going to say this time? Still, he did ask a question and I didn't want to be evil. He needed his bag. I go:

The waiter set it aside. You can probably get it tomorrow.

I again, try to make it androgynous and formal. Not wanting to put any smileys lest I be mistaken for not only a crazed stalker fan, but a crazed stalker fan who is smiley-fixated. The restaurant that he left it at was already closed when I left Rockwell so I was assuming that it was closed when he got out of the cinema.

Of course, I didn't answer his other question. How do I tell him who I am when he doesn't even know who I am. How would he know that he had some psycho (though harmless) stalker that copied his number and happened to be in the vicinity of the bag-leaving incident? So I conveniently forget to name myself and promise myself I will not reply to his next message.

Then, he replied.

Nakuha ka na. I'm
an idiot ü Thanks!
May i know who
this is?



My heart stopped beating. He actually replied. And not only did he reply, but he thanked me, and admitted he was an idiot. Glad to know he realized what how stupid it was of him to forget his bag when I never see him in UP without him. Now I have two messages from him.

Unfortunately, I have a bit of shame. Yes, despite all these brash actions, I do have my sanity and I refuse to admit who I am. What exactly will I tell him anyway? Too long of a story explaining who I was that it definitely wouldn't fit into my message no matter how many short cuts I did. So I decide not to reply. Besides, he said "may I know" and unfortunatley my answer is: No, he may not.

This evening's happenings are just too much to digest that my head is still spinning from it. Who knew I'd see him tonight, and more actually reply to my messages that were sent out of a dare? I surely didn't see this coming.

If this is but an omen of how my sembreak is about to turn out, then I can't wait for the rest of it to happen. And I thought I was on a high last time? This definitely beats last time hands down.
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