August 27th, 2004

emma; only girl in the world

I'll be in school in less than SIX hours

I'm so nervous for tomorrow that it's not even funny. I really feel like barfing and that's not exactly the best feeling in the world. I know how absolutely brilliant the other classes are and I guess that's why I'm even more afraid. I know my class has worked so damn hard for this and that's why it's going to hurt tomorrow. I honestly don't know how things are going to turn out tomorrow, but I hope the deserving class wins.

I also hope we all the have the strength to accept the outcome whatever it may be. Because I know myself and I know I'm not very good with rejection. When tomorrow is over, I'll be able to breathe again.

If the tension last Wednesday was bad, I bet tomorrow's will be worse.

4A, I know we've done our best

It's all up to the judges now.
emma; only girl in the world

Dutiful (Ex) Boyfriend

Joe Nast

Jake Gyllenhaal
so sexy/sweet you'll want to:
work at the post office so you can help him sort letters and mend his broken heart
How can I not include a Jake Gyllenhaal character? Though I haven't watched too many of his movies, I thought Joe was his sweetest one. He was so supportive and caring of his supposed future parents-in-law. Even if he wasn't really with their daughter anymore when she died, he was still so nice to them.

Joe also had this really dorky look about him. He would wear all these really preppy looking outfits -- it was set in the fifties -- and he managed to make them look good. Still, the first scenes had him in the shower, and though they never showed a thing, you could see how utterly sexy he was by the ripple of the muscles on his back when he leaned his arms forward and was just breathing in deeply. What a fine piece of human species he was! He was so sweet to his supposed future parents-in-law that he couldn't even tell them what really happened for fear that they weren't going to be able to take it.

He stayed with them throughout the entire grieving process, was willing to start a business with the girl's dad even if he really didn't want to do it, was so comforting to the girl's mom, and was always helping around any way he could. Joe was so torn when he found new love through Bertie because he knew that his supposed future parents-in-law weren't going to be very happy about it. Such a selfless guy.

He was always so scared and so cautious. He was always trying to protect his supposed future parents-in-law from any further grief that he forgot about his own feelings. Finally, when Bertie came around and told him what a coward he was, he shaped up.

Bertie: You think if you just run around fast enough, figure out what everyone wants, no one's gonna notice what a coward you are? Are you that scared? - You sleep in that house, eat their food... you act like everyday's just another Sunday. You think if you just keep it up, these people won't notice their daughter's missing?
Joe Nast: What are we doing that's so different? - Lend a hand, Bertie! There's not a body in that bar that thinks Cal McGinnis is ever coming home! You think I don't know that you're never gonna make room in your life for someone who want's to know you better than 60 lousy percent? It's the last 40 that counts!
Bertie: Where'd you go, Joe? [walks out, slamming door behind her]
Joe Nast: [whisper's to himself] I'm... right here.

Honestly, I couldn't even think of slamming the door on him. He must have been standing there, looking overly sexy as he listened to all the painful yet true things she had to tell him. And still he took it all in.

To end this, Joe was really a sincere dude. He always meant what he said and sometimes, though he was a tad cowardly, he was always looking out for everyone else. Finally, he came to his senses and realized he needed to start living his own life, in the present, instead of dwelling on all the what-might-have-beens, he wrote Bertie a heartfelt letter, telling her what he really felt. He wrote her seventy-five times. He of course read it with that sexy voice he had. I was just melting.

Joe Nast: [voiceover] Dear Bertie, You asked me before where I went. And I want to tell you. I went to a place where nothing's right, where every moment's backwards, every sky's without colour, without hope. I tried to come back, Bertie. But I got lost. And while I was gone, I met you. And I didn't even have the courage to realize I was home. A wise friend of mine told me "we all have our homes", and now I know it's true. I hope you get this letter, Bertie. I figure I got 75 chances. Cause if you do you'll know that in the end, that's where I was. I found home, Bertie. I found you. I hope you can find your's soon. Get there - as fast as you can. And write me when you do. Love, Joe.

I'm here Joe. And this is my letter to you, because I've found a home in you.