August 7th, 2004

emma; only girl in the world

UPCAT aint' gonna pull me down

And it's all downhill from here.

Indeed, it is. In the words of Newfound Glory, I feel exactly that way right now. All I can do is wait till sometime in February 2005 when the results will finally be out. That's SIX entire months from now. That's half a year. I'm expected to sit tight in my chair while they process our tests. As if I hadn't choked myself before that time. This is crazy! I went to Rockwell after the UPCAT and my mom and I were looking at the Book of Answers. So I asked the question Will I get into UP? and it told me to: Shift your focus.

What the crap?!? How can I shift my focus when all I can think about is getting into the school. I woke up this morning at 10:50. And I was still sleepy. I didn't even sleep that late. Besides, I knew that if I tried sleeping earlier, I would have just spent hours tossing and turning in bed. Not very restful either. When I wake up, there's no water upstairs. Beautiful. For some reason, I'm really irksome. The rain's pouring heavily outside, and I realize that it may actually be traffic on the way to UP. The last thing I wanted to be was late. The problem with living so near UP is you take for granted the time you could spend traveling.

Luckily, I snap out of my bad mood, realizing that if I continue this way, I could actually bomb the test, I've been so excited and worried about. jamypye drives me over to the College of Music Room 202-204 while my mom prays the rosary furiously in the backseat. It's a really quick ride, like it always is, and before I know it, my beloved daddy is already there waiting for us -- he actually had to go through some traffic because he was coming from PGH. Practically all of my school mates have congregated at the college already and they're all so quiet. Yes, we were quiet. It was surreal. It still hadn't dawned on me that this was it. In a few minutes, I'd be taking a five-hour long test.

The people handling us were a tad funny. They kept rearranging us in the line. First, they said we line up according to our identification numbers. That was cool. I was next to Sab and Ciara. Then, they realized we were all next to our friends, so they told us to separate ourselves from each other. Yeah right. They really expected us to do that on our own. We didn't. They had to pull people out and place them somewhere else. But the thing is, we were so plenty, no matter where they placed us, we'd be next to someone we knew. Finally, they disarrange us for the nth time and let us walk quietly to our classrooms. The proctors were kind of pushy, and I tried my best not to get too annoyed at them. I didn't want to get all hot and bothered over something really petty.

The test wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Of course, there were the horrible parts. Math wasn't too taxing either. In fact, I kind of liked it. I liked the fact that I wasn't stuck on one number for a really really long time -- and trust me, that's happened. Sure, I'm not very sure of all my answers, but at least I'm positive about some of them. I can't say the same about Science though. Jo was so right. Our school is so weak in the Science department. I didn't learn a thing! I don't think I'm the only one either. Everyone was ranting about how we hadn't learned anything at all. It was that horrific! I don't think I've ever felt so freaking stupid.

Five hours flies by really quickly when you're taking a life-altering exam. Hopefully though, I'll make it. I have to. This year, 74,000 people are taking the UPCAT. What are the odds of little old me making it in? Hopefully it's bigger than nil. I think I'll keep that Book of Answers' answer in mind:

Shift your focus