July 29th, 2004

emma; only girl in the world

where is friday?

Sir's teaching us how to mask things. In fairness, the thing looks pretty cool. I can't believe I can even talk about masking things when I just had the most horrible Physics test ever! I wasn't even able to finish the stupid thing.

My mind just totally blocked out when it came to getting the sides of the stupid triangle based on the angle and the hypothenuse. I had seven minutes left when I realized all I had to do was do the cos/sin thing.

If only there were more time, I would surely have finished it. I'm not even sure of the accuracy of my results. I wasn't able to check my work in the other numbers! How the crap am I going to pass that test??? I need to get okay grades in this subject because if I don't go up the stage because of ONE measly subject, I think I might hurl.

Then again, I'm having trouble in Trig too. We're having our session test tomorrow on top of the Lab practicals -- which I really don't want to take. How the hell am I supposed to know the parts of a Vernier caliper anyway? Oh yeah, our teacher said it in class, but I guess I just wasn't listening. I can't really blame myself. Last year, I listened in class. I was interested in the subject. The teacher was great. But this year? I'm just not into it.

Oh well, I have to stay today for a Blazon News Staff meeting. I'm staying till 5:00 pm. I haven't really stayed for much this year, but of course, Blazon gets the priority. See the dedication here? Still, dedication isn't enough to get an editor position. I'm not bitter. At least, I don't think I am, I just wish sometimes that things would finally go my way. It makes me wonder what crazy assignment I'm going to get. Hopefully, it's something I'll be interested in so that I can have some drive to write it.

Now, Hani and I are bumming. I'm so glad I have her as a partner. She's so cooperative. She looks really busy. She's doing so many things again. It's nice to know that she's always on top of things. Such an inspiration to me. If Hani can do it, then so can I. I wish we were always groupmates. That way, I know I can count on someone for something. At least that's one problem down. A ton more to go...

Is there still a smile on my face? I guess it depends on the time of day. Right now, it's very hard to do so. After that killer Physics test and the Economics bummer, I don't know if I can manage to forge a grin. Maybe, late at night, when I'm all alone, hearing the rain pattering softly on the window pane, as I worry about all the things I have to do and the tests I have to pass, and all the colleges I've applied to. As I take my time, to relax my muscles from the long day at school, I think of all the things that've happened, and I remember. I remember how I one tiny spark can set a flame. I remember how despite all that I've gone through, there's still that little extra something that can get me through. And after all's been said and done, I do smile. Even just a little.
emma; only girl in the world

Under a heap of papers

I'm buried in work. I thought I could sleep a bit more tonight. So much to do, so little time. Apparently, not. Cathy's right. I totally agree with her right now.
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emma; only girl in the world

Wanna sleep all day

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Sometimes, I just want to slack. Just forget about all my responsibilities and just sleeping. When am I ever going to get out of here? When am I ever going to get out of this hole. It seems to get deeper as I desperately try to get out.