July 13th, 2004

emma; only girl in the world

Desperately Seeking Sleep

Is it just me or do I always seem to be perennially sleepy. Seriously. I used to pride myself in being able to do all nighters and here I am barely awake at ten pm. This is bad! Now is the time when I'm supposed to be ready to take on anything and I'm always sleepy. It doesn't matter that I just woke up from a nap. I skipped dinner, as usual and ate a late one. The thing is, all I ever want to do is sleep. Whether I'm in class, on the way home or studying, I just want to sleep.

We had the crazy Trig test today and well, I always hated true or false. I don't think Math is about memorization, or knowing the concepts by the letter, as long as you can apply them, right? Sure, I'm not very great in application either, but that's another story. Who said I liked Math to begin with anyway? The worst part of this entire process is that her tests require a parent's signature of sorts. My parents will have to see the paper and sign it. That's definitely not a good thing.

It's not like I don't tell my mom what I get in the tests anyway, but signing it is a whole different thing. It makes it seem much more official and a lot more scary. First of all, we're going to go through this entire charade of showing it to mom then her asking me if my dad's seen it, then I troop over to dad in shame, and he asks me if I tried my best and I say that I did, even if I know that I probably could have done so much better but due to my laziness, that's what I end up with. Then he tells me with a blank face that it's okay as long as I tried my best.

Then I end up with all the guilt because I know I could have nailed it if I tried harder. Then again, maybe I'm being too difficult on myself. It's not like I didn't stay up to study for the test. Sure, I was watching TV half the time, so sue me? Cable TV is a real temptation, just like unlimited internet connection.

Now, I promised myself I would study for my Sociology test tomorrow and the crazy qualifying test for that Chemistry Challenge, which I really don't want to enter in the first place. I probably forgot everything I learned last year anyway. No offense to the teacher, but I really do forget everything. So here I am, contemplating what I'm going to do next while my head is wondering what's going on in Six Feet Under right now.

Is it my fault all the good shows come on every Tuesday night? Not my fault. Totally not.