happiness = reality - expectations
If reality > expectations, then you are happy.
If reality < expectations, then you are not.
I did not read enough books this year. I admit this. I kept lowering my goal as the quarters rolled by because I knew I wouldn't make it. And I did, just barely. I'll stick to the 12 book goal next year cause it looks like I'm regressing reading-wise.
Option B by Sheryl Sandberg | Chemistry by Weike Wang | The Animators by Kayla Rae Whitaker | You Don't Look Fat, You Look Crazy by Ashley Longshore | You Don't Look Your Age: And Other Fairy Tales by Sheila Nevins | All the Lives I Want by Alana Massey
I also didn't watch a lot of movies made in 2017 this year. I have yet to see any of the Oscar nominated/rumoured movies but I did see a lot of popcorn movies this year. If you want the box office mainstream, I'm your girl.
Thor: Ragnarok (Taika Waititi) | Star Wars: The Last Jedi (Rian Johnson) | The Big Sick (Michael Showalter) | Beauty and the Beast (Bill Condon) | Wonder Woman (Patty Jenkins) | Baby Driver (Edgar Wright)
Something I still consciously make an effort to do every Monday thanks to Spotify's Discover Weekly playlist and Friday's Release Radar and to my brother Pietro for releasing the most cathartic double EP of the year.
reputation by Taylor Swift | Melodrama by Lorde | ÷ by Ed Sheeran | The Search For Everything by John Mayer | People Always Leave But They Can Always Come Back by Pietro Lazatin | Songs for Someone Some Time Ago by Pietro Lazatin
I also didn't watch as much television as I did in the past. I don't understand this non-media consumption but leaving my original housing situation definitely didn't help it. Still, I'm feeling more comfortable in the new house now and maybe i'll hang in the living room with the TV more again.
With the constant flying, I listened to a lot of podcasts on airplanes and airports and in cars traveling to the airport. For someone that isn't American, I listened to a lot of podcasts on US Politics. It was fun and sad and absurd.
So if I did not consume media this year, what the hell did I do? I travelled a lot (for work). I spent 6 months in Jakarta and 4 months in Yangon -- and resented a lot of it but am grateful for it in hindsight.
I got deaf in one ear, didn't like it. I went to see 2 doctors and tried healing myself with less flying and lots of medicines. It worked and it didn't but I got my hearing back sort of.
I knitted a blanket for my brother and sister-in-law. And I tried my hand at tarot again. I tried to journal more (and failed but tried still). And I tried taking up tennis and wall climbing. I trained for a 21K run and I went to yoga more.
I went on more brunches with friends. And I installed the dating apps again and went on some dates (and then uninstalled them all, took a break and installed them again). I broke and healed my own heart. I saw my siblings as much as I could. I went home to Manila.
I was less hard on myself with the lists I made for myself even if I didn't follow most of them. But mostly, I just tried to be more present. It wasn't very successful. But I liked it a lot. Maybe next year, I'll be better at adulating. Maybe, I won't.
I took a deep breath and listened to the old brag of my heart. I struggle to think of any line of thinking more linked to being a socialized female than to consider the declaration of simply existing to feel like a form of bragging. But that, of course, is the plight of the feeling girl: to be told again and again that her very existence is something not worth declaring.
— All The Lives I Want: Essays About My Best Friends Who Happen to Be Famous Strangers